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How The NFL Draft Works

Fake Fake News Sports takes an in-depth look at the draft process, including the process of selecting a team’s first overall pic...

Report: Only 3% Of Basketball Fans Who Watch Basketball

BOSTON—According to a report released Thursday by the Boston University School of Sport, only 3 percent of basketball fans watch...

Food Stamps

The Obama administration is considering expanding the Food Stamp Program to include more low-income families.

Typical Day At Work: I Can’t Believe I’ve Already Written And Spent $23,000 Of This

The day before I got a new job, I had just started a new restaurant. After opening the doors and staffing up, it’s already been ...

Dianne Feinstein's Son Loses Leg To Plane Crash

HANGAR 13, the White House’s designated helicopter for the deaf, was hit and killed by a plane on its way to the Middle East.

Mark Zuckerberg Hiring 100,000 People To Make Facebook ‘The World's Most Popular Social Network’

Facebook has reportedly hired 100,000 people in order to make the social network “The World” and other websites “the most popula...

Man With No Idea What To Expect Of Life Still Finding It Hard To Hold On To Anyones Self

HARTFORD, CT—Noting the ground-level air of relief and apprehension that suddenly welled up in his chest, local man Jonathan Vol...

I Hope Molly Mullins Is Hanging Around For At Least A Year

So, I'm only a year away from getting my first boyfriend. I'm ready for her, right? I've got a solid job, and I'm not getting ma...

Woman Who's Never Been In A Pub Has No Idea Who The Fuck You Are

CHICAGO—Saying she’d known you for quite some time, local woman Jessica DeCederis, who has never been in a pub, told reporters M...

Movie Director Dies

OAKLAND, CA—In what many are calling a tragedy for the entire industry, local director James H. Snyder III died Monday. "We are ...

Pope Fondly Recalls Demonic Possession Of Child Abuse Images

VATICAN CITY—In a chilling incident that has haunted the Catholic Church for centuries, Pope Francis reportedly sent a series of...

Is The Nation Going To Move To The Moon?

The National Interest is on the Democratic ticket.

Monsanto Cries 'PizzaGate' After Interviews With Harvey Weinstein

After a vicious and exhaustive investigation, the New York Attorney General has found that the former film producer and producer...

Bush Out Of Touch: He Already Knows What His Bailout Will Cost

WASHINGTON—A joint statement released by the White House and the Congressional Budget Office this week confirmed that President ...

New York Attorney General Gives Impeachment Power To President Trump

The New York attorney general has given President Trump the power to impeach him and remove him from office for failing to uphol...

New Aisle-Based Trip To Texas

WASHINGTON—The inaugural trip of President Barack Obama, an aisle-based tool designed to help the president navigate his way thr...

Government Cuts Funding For Freedom Of Information Act

The U.S. government is reporting it will not renew funding for the Freedom of Information Act, a law that gives Americans the ri...

Disney Celebrates With Annual Movie Night

LOS ANGELES—Revealing that this was the most expensive night in franchise history, Disney officials announced Thursday that the ...

New Report Finds Both Hillary Clinton And Bernie Sanders Likely Winners Of 2020 Election

WASHINGTON—Assuring the American populace that they could rest assured knowing that with just a handful of exceptions, both the ...

Members Of Team All Know Each Other

NEW YORK—According to sources, the Wall Street Journal published new insights into the identity of the team’s senior member Thur...

Trump Administration Warns It Will Remove All Of The United States Of America From The Economy Within The Year

WASHINGTON—Warning that the country could be on the verge of total economic collapse, the Trump administration issued a statemen...

Man Just Thinking Up All The Crazy Stuff To Make A Project

MOUNT GABLES, AZ—Area resident Stephen St. Louis, 29, just might be dumb enough to come up with the crazy shit he's thinking of ...

Google Banning Hate Speech

After a long-running dispute, the FCC will finally ban hate speech, though Google has until 2019 to decide whether to take any a...

Evolution: The Idea That There Are Natural Selection And Human Selection

How do we know that? Because, from the very first moment of our species’ existence, our DNA has been selected for certain traits.

Fox News Anchor Being Forced To Explain World In Order To People With Legs

NEW YORK—After a panel discussion about how the media landscape has changed in the last few years, Fox News host Tucker Carlson ...

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Thus, any and all statements made in articles are not meant to represent any sort of truth or reflect any personal views.