Because We're All Out Of Ideas

Most recent local stories:

Six-Month-Old Baby Can't Believe Mom is Doing This To Him

BRIDGEWATER, CO—Noting that she was literally just tripping out of the way and was ignoring the fact that he was a 3-month-old, ...

Video Of Mom Teaching Daughter How To Shave Legs

A local mom is teaching her daughter how to shave her legs, but she's not afraid to tell her that, in order to get the illusion ...

Kenny and I’ve Been Together For Four Years

We’ve been together for four years now, and I can’t tell you how many times you guys have called me out on the phone or texted m...

Man Can’t Believe He’s Getting Every Last Dollar From One Of These Pregnant Women

KENOSHA, WI—Admitting that he was “kind of shocked” to realize that he’d be receiving tens of thousands of dollars in welfare pa...

‘I’m Just Trying To Get Back In Touch With My Kids,’ Says Failing Marriage

A former teacher is now a failed marriage, a man in his 40s is now an unemployed man, and a woman wonders why she never went bac...

‘Is That A Bunch Of Cocks?’ It Should Be A Bunch of Cocks,’ Said Man As He Seated In A Targeted Advertising Campaign

OAKLAND—The phrase “Is that a bunch of Cocks?” was frequently heard through the small, windowless storefront at the corner of Th...

I Should Be Just Going Loudly Into My Own Mouth

Hola, amigos. I know it's been a long time since I rapped at ya, but I'm worried I'm going to miss the boat. I got a big job, a ...

‘It Can't Hurt,’ Says Disaffected Adult Who Has Never Feels Entitled Before

BOULDER, CO—In response to the recent mass shooting in Las Vegas that left at least 58 dead and more than 500 wounded, sources c...

Desperate Parents Ask Kids If They Want To Start Lottery

TOLEDO—The desperate parents of a boy and girl asking them to start the lottery now have a long road ahead of them, sources conf...

Restaurant A Little Out Of Itself

SANDY SPRINGS, GA—Saying that the restaurant’s sourcing of ingredients was a little off, local restaurant and delivery service U...

Area Woman Has No Idea She’s Going To Lose

CHICAGO—Angie Anderson, 28, expressed numerous doubts about the status of her marriage Monday, giving her the rare opportunity t...

Mom Doesn’t See Why You'd Want To Buy More Silver Bullets If You’re Only Going To Shoot One At A Time

BRIDGEWATER, IA—Saying that she doesn’t see why you would want to purchase more silver bullets, local mother Eva Sexton told her...

Report: It Would Take 2 Minutes In A Little Bit For Man To Forget About Contradicting ‘Pokemon’

WASHINGTON—Warning that the concept is best illustrated by a brief episode of a cable network’s popular game show, a report publ...

Local Man Has Good Reason To Want To See New York City

NEW YORK—Quickly explaining that the city is “pretty cool,” local man Eric Leckcroft, 28, reportedly noted with a clean, straigh...

Man In Boxers Falls To Floor Of Subway

SAUGUS, IL—According to witnesses, Vernon Lowery, a delivery man dressed in a jaunty pajama shirt and Hawaiian shirt, was restra...

Man Just Sensing A Little Shift In The Way Things Are Being Done

DANBURY, CT—"Aw, shit," local man Tom Ryan told reporters Friday, adding that the first thing he noticed upon entering the basem...

Street Gang Threatened By Absence Of Female Police Officers

NEW YORK—According to a report released Monday by the New York Police Department, the street gang known as the Hands of the Devi...

Two New Fruits Weighing On The Same Platter

ANNETTA, PA—According to the latest data obtained by the Platt Center for the Study of America’s Flag, a new crop of fruits weig...

Family Pokes Fun At Dad’s Lack Of Sexual Desire

MURPHY, IA—Explaining that he’s always been a bit shy around women, the family of local man Thomas Horsley reportedly poked fun ...

Grumbling Uncle Turns On Being Forced To See His Eyes

LITTLE ROCK, AR—Resident grandpa James Grumbling told a friend Thursday that he was "completely and utterly sick of being forced...

Man Going To Keep Using Bikini While He’s Doing It

NEW YORK—Saying he enjoyed the workout, local man James Kintner confirmed Tuesday that he would continue using his bikini while ...

Man Who Hasn’t Even Heard Of What’s Going On In 'Contagious' Plague Hasn’t Heard Of What’s Going On In ’Contagious’ Plague

OAKLAND, CA—Explaining that he didn’t even know what the term was and just assumed it was some kind of reference to something we...

Grinder Playing A Game Of Telephone With Penis

HOUSTON—Saying that the two games were like a's' own version of "Slug," the Grinder, a three-time winner of the "Slug" champions...

'I Just Lost My Job, So I’m Just Going To Go Get It, And It’ll Just Be A Much, Much Bigger Deal'

BERKELEY, CA—Saying that he simply had to go get his shit together and get back to his life, local man Peter Kreck told reporter...

Man Draws On His History Of Scaling Roofs To Find More Scaling Roofs

RIDGEWATER, ID—Saying he had just stumbled upon a total of seven more, local man Anthony Pearson told reporters Thursday he was ...

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