Because We're All Out Of Ideas

Most recent local stories:

Man Can't Help But Think Of The Last Time He Saw His Daughter,

MASON, MI—Struggling to wrap his head around the idea that he could have a daughter, local man Greg Beck told reporters Monday t...

'P.S. I'm A Hipster' Says Man

NEW YORK—In a new online comment, local resident Brad Rader, 31, said, "P.S. I'm a "hipster." "I'm a hipster." The commenter wen...

Man At Restaurant Gives Angry Look Around Melding Elegantly With Serving Food

LOS ANGELES—According to sources at the restaurant, a customer at the Boca Glamas restaurant on Hollywood Boulevard is “really g...

Single Mother To Cut Back On Wives After Eleven Years

CHICAGO—Following a long day spent raising the children of her single mother, local parents Tobias and Laura Santoro confirmed T...

Area Woman Can't Believe She's Getting A Job With A Company That Only Accepts Women

LOS ANGELES—Saying she couldn’t believe she was even applying for a job she’s never been hired for, local woman Annie Perry told...

Man Just Pulls Over To Answer Phone

DULUTH, MN—Returning home from work Tuesday after a long day at the office, local man Greg Alexander, age 32, reportedly had no ...

Dog That Should’ve Died In Another Life Now Hoping To Live Another Life

JONESBORO, ME—Noting how it seemed to be having an affair with the other day, local 6-year-old German shepherd Thomas said Monda...

American Dad Disheartened By How Often His Car's License Plate Looks Like He’s Doing Something Wrong

CLEVELAND—Expressing his hope that things would eventually improve, local 34-year-old father Bernard Schwartz told reporters Wed...

Man With Possessed Family Can’t Have This

HOUSTON—Calling the situation “pretty much,” local man Eric Kinsley confirmed Thursday that while he is currently possessed by h...

'Can We All Get On In Here?’ Says Woman Sitting Outside Cafe In Times Square

NEW YORK—After being repeatedly threatened with bodily harm from a group of men who had barged into the area, local woman Cara J...

Man Knows Where To Find An Open Seat

PITTSBURGH—Saying he’d been looking for one for quite some time, local man Vaughn Gilden told reporters Thursday that he knew ex...

Man On Duty For Hospice Couldn't Care Less About What Hospital Was Like

CHICAGO—Saying it was about time to step away from the organization to focus on his own life, area man Patrick Coates, an employ...

‘You’re Such A Smethinker,’ Says Man With Afternoon Fever

SACRAMENTO, CA—Charging that you’re “a total hypocrite” for not following his pro-abortion agenda, local man Adam Abrams reporte...

‘I’m So Sorry For The Death Of Your Cousin,’ Screams Secretly

CINCINNATI—Struggling to express anguish upon learning that you had been killed, local man Eric Clark reportedly yelled “I’m so ...

‘You Should Have Known It Would Be Two Weeks Before I Could Get The Whole Thing Back,’ Says Man Who’s Been Empty-Minded Even Since He Was An Old Man

LOS ANGELES—In the wake of a major setback in his professional life, local man Adam AbBek reportedly told reporters Wednesday th...

Man Starts Off Day With 1,000 Words Of Emotion

MINNEAPOLIS—While typing out a lengthy email, local man Jason Hurley reportedly spent the first 1,000 words of the day frantical...

Man Who Has No Idea Where His Penis Is Now Playing With It On The Subway

PORTLAND, OR—According to anonymous sources, a man who has absolutely no idea where his penis is now playing with it on the Port...

Man Who Has No Idea What He's Doing Just Dies

BETHESDA, MD—Resident sources confirmed Wednesday that local man George Foster, who has no idea what he's doing, just suddenly d...

Man With No Idea What He's Doing Just Suddenly Dies

RHODE ISLAND, RI—In the wake of a 1,000-square-foot renovation project, local resident Thomas Rafferty, a man who has no clue wh...

Man Has No Idea How Much Less Lucky He Is

COLUMBIA, SC—Saying that he does not know what he is missing out on, local man Craig Nesbitt reportedly has no idea how much les...

Video Of Homeless Man Being Forced From Seat

ABERDEEN, ID—In a move meant to stem the spread of the plague, the U.S. Department of Housing and Urban Development announced Mo...

Man Excited To See If It Still Possible To Get 3 Hours Of Sleep

NEW YORK—Expressing a strong desire to find out for himself just how much longer he can stay awake, local man Michael Pazder exp...

Man Terrified He Could Never Make It Out Of Bed Again

FORT WAYNE, IN—Several weeks after his first day of work, local man Alan Schulhofer was reportedly terrified that he would never...

Hey, Guys, I’m A Sane, A Good Man, And I Just Want To Be A Good Boy

Hey, everybody, I’m a relative of yours, and I’m a good guy. If you guys have any questions about my past, or how I got so lucky...

Man Leaving Bar Has No Idea He’s A Lass

MONROEVILLE, PA—Despite the fact that he was wearing some pretty tight clothes, local man Dave Schulhoff, 29, has no idea that h...

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Thus, any and all statements made in articles are not meant to represent any sort of truth or reflect any personal views.