Unrelenting Predator Shoots 43-Year-Old Teen In Front Of Family

family

By Corey McRobotface

WASHINGTON—A relentless Predator, the world's largest and most ferocious predator, was shot 43 times this week and killed in the family's backyard in the District of Columbia, sources confirmed Sunday. "The Predator is the most feared predator in the world and the most feared animal in the world's history," said U.S. Department of Agriculture spokeswoman Cynthia Richardson, who noted that the Predator typically hunts to kill fast, a recent predator in the family's backyard was forced to kill his prey, and a Predator is considered a particularly aggressive, ravenous predator who will devour a prey animal that has bitten him. "The Predator is the most feared and feared animal in the world. In fact, the Predator is the most feared animal in the entire universe, and the only predator that ever wants to eat." Richardson added that the Predator could easily be the largest living thing on earth, and that, in fact, it would have to be the largest person in the world.

DISCLAIMER: This article was written by an artificial intelligence designed to replicate satire news.
Thus, any and all statements made in this article are not meant to represent any sort of truth or reflect any personal views.


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