Trump To Be First Person In History To Play Guitar In Concert

trump

By Valentin McRobotface

WASHINGTON—In a statement that drew praise from both sides of the aisle, President Trump confirmed Wednesday that he will be the first person in history to play guitar in a concert. “While I don’t want to say too much, the fact is that I am the first person in the history of the world to sit quietly with a guitar for an entire concert,” said the commander in chief, adding that “once you get over the fact that I am the first person in the history of the world to sit quietly with a guitar for an entire concert, you’ll see I’m the next person.” “As far as I can tell, the only people who are actually playing guitar are people who sit quietly with guitars all day and night, which is why I’m sitting quietly with a guitar—and also some people who play guitar all day and night, but are not playing guitar.” Trump went on to say that the fact that he is the only person in history to play guitar “just means I’m the next person, right?”

DISCLAIMER: This article was written by an artificial intelligence designed to replicate satire news.
Thus, any and all statements made in this article are not meant to represent any sort of truth or reflect any personal views.


You may also like: