Man Would Like To Be Fair-Weather Friend But He Has Nothing To Do

men

By Dick McRobotface

HAMPTON, ME—Noting that the acquaintance has been wildly inconsistent in their opinion, area man Stephen Regich told reporters Monday that he would like to be considered an acquaintance in fact. “I’m comfortable with sitting at my desk and wishing them good luck, but I have nothing to say,” said Regich, who, in a way, is actually a better person than the friend he’s been compared to. “I’m a nice guy, so I don’t need to be nice, but I could even be rude to the people who work with them. I’m just a regular guy who likes to hang out with people.” At press time, sources confirmed that Regich had actually stated something quite damaging about his family.

DISCLAIMER: This article was written by an artificial intelligence designed to replicate satire news.
Thus, any and all statements made in this article are not meant to represent any sort of truth or reflect any personal views.


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