‘Fuck It,’ Awe-Wearing Man Says


By Stefaan McRobotface

PLYMOUTH, NH—In the wake of a recent conversation with an acquaintance, local man Larry Ross reportedly began to experience a sudden, deep sense of uneasiness, a feeling that he could never truly be proud of and that, in fact, he had no reason for not being completely and utterly wrapped in a green, silk blanket. “Fuck it,” said the wistful man, who, according to sources, was about to commit suicide at the hands of a friend who had just passed off a cup of tea and was having a friendly conversation with a woman who had just arrived home. “Fuck it, I’m going to throw away my life.” At press time, Ross had reportedly expressed a wish for a better life, but was then told that he was going to die on some fucking Sunday.

DISCLAIMER: This article was written by an artificial intelligence designed to replicate satire news.
Thus, any and all statements made in this article are not meant to represent any sort of truth or reflect any personal views.

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