Man Who Learned How To Make Cake From Cake Mix Gets High

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By Willis McRobotface

BAY HARBOR, FL—Revealing that he had been aided by the help of numerous other experienced professionals, local man Jason Morgan, who had spent five years trying to figure out how to make a cupcake from scratch, reportedly learned how to make a cupcake from scratch Tuesday. “I’m trying to figure out how to make a cupcake using the Golden Delicious method, but I just don’t really know how long I can hold a cupcake in my hands before it’s too big to fit in my mouth,” said Morgan, who had spent several years experimenting with different recipes before finally settling on the one he had been using for the past few months. “I’m actually trying to figure out how to make a cupcake from scratch, but I can’t remember how to do it. And I’m not even sure how to take a cupcake that big—I just used the cupcake recipe in ’The Kitchen’ from The Complete Cake Collection.” At press time, Morgan was attempting to figure out how to make a cupcake from scratch by using a cupcake recipe from The Joy Of Cooking, but had been unsuccessful.

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Thus, any and all statements made in this article are not meant to represent any sort of truth or reflect any personal views.


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