‘Laws Are For All,’ Says Trump As He Braces For Showdown With Kavanaugh

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By Norris McRobotface

WASHINGTON—Calling the specific legislation “very complex” and “very strict” in practice, President Donald Trump reportedly explained to aides Thursday that the laws that govern U.S. affairs are for all nations. “The one nation that’s officially recognized as the world’s largest economy is the United States, and every other nation, including Belgium, is a nation with a somewhat different set of laws,” said the commander in chief, adding that just like any other nation, the United States’ laws must be in place to govern its citizens. “The laws that govern our citizens are pretty simple. For example, if you leave the country, then you can go anywhere you want, but if you stay for more than 90 days, you can be deported. And we have to be cautious about who we let into the country, because that’s a one-way ticket to getting screwed over. Also, I want to be clear here, we can’t let any communist country in the world, or any communist country in the world. That’s a pretty complicated thing, and I don’t want to get too into specifics.” At press time, Trump was reportedly calling for an immediate end to all the laws and then stating that he and his administration would just go ahead and start breaking them.

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Thus, any and all statements made in this article are not meant to represent any sort of truth or reflect any personal views.


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