Man Just Thinks He's Really Good At Being A Year-Old Man


By Al McRobotface

LANCASTER, PA—Saying he has no idea what he's doing to be a success in the small-town world, local man Aaron Dawson told reporters Thursday that he just thinks he’s really good at being a year-old man. “I don’t know, maybe I just have a knack for doing that, but don’t tell anyone,” said Dawson, who has no idea how he came up with the confidence to be the grown man he is today. “Teachers, my coworkers—I just have all that. But I mean, are you saying I’m bad at being a year-old man? And are you saying I’m bad at being a year-old?” At press time, Dawson had reportedly given up and moved on with his life.

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Thus, any and all statements made in this article are not meant to represent any sort of truth or reflect any personal views.

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