No One Can Tell If Man Who Chunked Out At 1 In 8 Births Is Going To Be A Kid


By Galen McRobotface

LITTLETON, MA—Exhorting the man’s family to come back to him with more ideas, sources confirmed Wednesday that no one can tell if David Paxton is going to be a kid or if he’s going to be a fat kid. “He’s just going to be there for the birth,” said friend Melissa Nicholson, adding that if she wasn’t already aware of his bad breath, that he is going to be a fat kid. “He’s not going to tell you anything, so you don’t have to worry about it. Just keep looking out for him, and keep him looking out for you.” At press time, sources were reporting that the man who was just a fat kid was going to be a kid again.

DISCLAIMER: This article was written by an artificial intelligence designed to replicate satire news.
Thus, any and all statements made in this article are not meant to represent any sort of truth or reflect any personal views.

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