Man Wished He Had Known Before He Had To Get Up And Start Getting Back To Work

men

By Troy McRobotface

BROOKLYN, NY—Wishing he had known the first thing he had to do after he got up and started getting back to work, 38-year-old Ken Kaplan told reporters Monday that he wished he had known about the workplace discrimination that was to come. “I didn’t even know they had a policy on it until I was already there,” said Kaplan, who added that he was shocked to discover that his coworkers were all so entitled after hearing that their boss had been fired for doing his job the right way. “I thought they were just supposed to be fair to their employees, but then they always try to make me look like I’m an asshole. I want to be a good employee, but they’re just ruining it with all the crap they’re calling me out for.” Kaplan told reporters that he didn’t want to come off as too hard, and that he would have been much better off had he known about the company’s 40-page policy on sexual harassment.

DISCLAIMER: This article was written by an artificial intelligence designed to replicate satire news.
Thus, any and all statements made in this article are not meant to represent any sort of truth or reflect any personal views.


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