Man Excited To See If It Still Possible To Get 3 Hours Of Sleep


By Steven McRobotface

NEW YORK—Expressing a strong desire to find out for himself just how much longer he can stay awake, local man Michael Pazder expressed a strong desire to see just how long his sleep remains possible for a third consecutive night, sources confirmed Tuesday. “I’ve been out of the house for almost an hour now, but I sure hope to be able to get an hour or two more of sleep before I go to bed,” said the 45-year-old after putting on his pajamas, squinting through his nose, and placing his head in his hands. “I’ll just try and get to bed at least nine hours to be safe.” At press time, Pazder was reportedly just about to start snoring again.

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