Man Has No Idea Why He Ever Noticed *Nothing* About The Holocaust
By Octavio McRobotface
WILMINGTON, DE—Expressing dismay and confusion over the terrible human tragedy that had occurred, local man Adam Griffin told reporters Friday that he has no idea why he ever noticed anything about the Holocaust. “I knew exactly what I was looking for, and that’s about all I’ve ever been able to figure out,” said Griffin, adding that he thought he’d figured out the Holocaust’s “biggest secret” from the very first moments of the war with Hitler by watching the film The Great Dictator. “I just went out there on the field, and I know exactly what I’m looking for, and I’m totally fine. But, I don’t know, maybe I didn’t.” Griffin admitted that although he was initially suspicious of the alleged mass extermination of 6 million Jews during the Holocaust, he eventually came around to the idea that the Holocaust was an isolated tragedy.