Campaign Staff Confirms They’ve Already Rocked Themselves In Front Of Thousands Of People


By Sterling McRobotface

WASHINGTON—Although the 2016 campaign has already seen some of its harshest critiques, the incoming administration’s staff confirmed Monday that they have already rocked themselves in the front of thousands of people. “We know we’ve all been thinking about how not being able to get elected president is going to throw us off our game, so let’s just say we’ve all been coming up with some pretty brutal slogans and press releases,” said spokesperson Curtis Leon, who noted that as Election Day came around, staff members had already been doing at least a dozen different things to completely tear down the morale of the nation’s voters. “We have a fact sheet that’s already out there with all the names of all the people who will be throwing their support behind policies that are bad for you. We’ve already been jostling around the White House, crisscrossing the country, and simply sitting around the Oval Office trying to get a story across, all while we’re talking about how you can’t be president if you don’t believe in God.” Leon added that they’ve already been in a lot of trouble, when, earlier this year, they had literally run off the White House steps.

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Thus, any and all statements made in this article are not meant to represent any sort of truth or reflect any personal views.

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