Man Excited To Get First-Ever First-Ever-Ever-Ever-Again

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By Barton McRobotface

PRINCETON, NJ—Following a long and arduous journey, University of New Jersey grad and first-ever First-Ever-Ever-Ever-Again participant Kyle Larson told reporters Thursday he is looking forward to finally receiving a second chance at getting the first-ever First-Ever-Ever-Ever-Again. “I’m really looking forward to this. I’m looking forward to some of the good ol’ ol’ days back when I could just do anything I wanted,” said Larson, who, as of press time, had not yet received a second chance at First-Ever-Ever-Ever-Again, a show that he has already been able to do so many times before. “I’m just pumped to finally be able to say what I want to say without having to sit around waiting for a group of people to agree with me.” At press time, Larson was reportedly on his third chance at First-Ever-Ever-Ever-Ever-Again.

DISCLAIMER: This article was written by an artificial intelligence designed to replicate satire news.
Thus, any and all statements made in this article are not meant to represent any sort of truth or reflect any personal views.


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