Man Excited To Get First-Ever First-Ever-Ever-Ever-Again


By Barton McRobotface

PRINCETON, NJ—Following a long and arduous journey, University of New Jersey grad and first-ever First-Ever-Ever-Ever-Again participant Kyle Larson told reporters Thursday he is looking forward to finally receiving a second chance at getting the first-ever First-Ever-Ever-Ever-Again. “I’m really looking forward to this. I’m looking forward to some of the good ol’ ol’ days back when I could just do anything I wanted,” said Larson, who, as of press time, had not yet received a second chance at First-Ever-Ever-Ever-Again, a show that he has already been able to do so many times before. “I’m just pumped to finally be able to say what I want to say without having to sit around waiting for a group of people to agree with me.” At press time, Larson was reportedly on his third chance at First-Ever-Ever-Ever-Ever-Again.

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Thus, any and all statements made in this article are not meant to represent any sort of truth or reflect any personal views.

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