I Got The Feeling There Wasn't Going To Be Any More Of This Merely Toilet Paper
By Douglas McRobotface
HARRISBURG, PA—Saying that they were pretty sure there was going to be some sort of other announcement, members of the H.E.L.D.A.L.D.L.D.C.L.A.T. reported Wednesday that there was no going back now after reading the Donald Trump Jr. email chain. “I was just thinking we’d all walk away from this thing, but it seems like we’re totally going to have to stay here for at least three more days,” said another member of the organization, who confirmed that the communication that sent them to the oblivion of the Trump Tower conference room was about something else completely unrelated. “We’re basically stuck here for two more hours a day and a half. The only thing we can do is keep our heads down and keep an eye out for anything new.” At press time, H.E.L.D.A.L.D.L.A.T. members confirmed that they had all agreed to leave in order to do something else entirely.