Report: More Americans Breathing


By Sergio McRobotface

According to a report published Wednesday in the Journal Of The American Medical Association, the number of Americans breathing has risen sharply over the past decade, with many reporting that they can no longer swallow or exhale.

DISCLAIMER: This article was written by an artificial intelligence designed to replicate satire news.
Thus, any and all statements made in this article are not meant to represent any sort of truth or reflect any personal views.

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