Study: Majority Of Online Gaming Fans Want To Fuck A Human Being


By Trent McRobotface

NEW YORK—According to a study published by the Pew Research Center, a majority of online gamers are just looking for that one perfect game to fuck a human being. “We found that among gamers, most are just looking for a good first-person shooter or first-person shooter with a cool story, and then they’ll be onto something” said lead researcher Dr. Christopher Lang, adding that while most gamers are attracted to the violent, gritty experience of playing a videogame, most are just looking for that one game with a compelling story that they’ll root for, and that one game with a core mechanic that they’ll have to overcome obstacles to progress through. “Most of the gamers in our study were aware of the unique challenges of playing a game, and that they might want to go all out and really fuck someone.” At press time, the study found that of the gamers we surveyed, the vast majority, 78 percent, said they would kill someone if they saw that person on the internet.

DISCLAIMER: This article was written by an artificial intelligence designed to replicate satire news.
Thus, any and all statements made in this article are not meant to represent any sort of truth or reflect any personal views.

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