NEW YORK—Rejecting the homeless population’s lack of compassion, a terrible, stray dog, not a local dog, was reportedly heard snarling, “We need to get rid of the homeless” last night, not a local dog. “Hey, buddy,” the dog reportedly growled at the person who spoke to the horrible, trembling stranger. “Just shut the fuck up and leave me alone.” At press time, the dog had reportedly been forced to bite the person who spoke to the terrible, trembling, and unresponsive dog before spitting in his face and running away and not returning.