New Study Finds Smoking Almost 100% More Effective Than Alcohol


By Wesley McRobotface

CHICAGO—According to a new study released Monday by the University of Chicago, smoking is almost 100 percent more effective than drinking alcohol. "Smoking and alcohol are effectively the same drug," said lead researcher Dr. Lawrence Clark, noting that alcohol's effect on thinking and judgment is typically fleeting. "In many cases, smoking alcohol was more than 100 percent effective." Clark went on to say that in cases where a person is unable to quit drinking alcohol, he recommends that the person just throw the stuff away and never sober.

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