Super Bowl-Winning Team Agrees To Set Up Big Wall Around Stadium

By Emmett McRobotface

HOUSTON—Saying it would be a huge help for the area, the Super Bowl champion Houston Texans confirmed Thursday that they have reached an agreement to erect a big wall around the stadium. “We’ve agreed on a price and it’s going to be pretty huge,” said head coach Bill O’Brien, adding that he expects the massive, imperceptible barrier to completely surround the stadium and make it impossible for any fans to walk around the perimeter. “I’m sure it’s going to be a huge success for the area, as it will be the biggest concrete barrier to keep out any team of fans trying to get in. It’s just a good deal.” O’Brien later admitted that he was initially hesitant about the plan, as he doesn’t want the wall to look very familiar, but he ultimately agreed after seeing how many people the huge barrier would draw to the stadium.

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