New Jimmie Johnson Racing Car Has No Idea Why It’s Out There In The First Place

By Mac McRobotface

FORT WAYNE, IN—Describing it as a complete mystery, employees at the IMSA SportsCar Championship were reportedly baffled this week when they learned that their new racing car had no idea why it was being driven to the track. “Well, how many times can you say that?” said IMSA race director Paul Hinch, who admitted that while he could understand the need for a more powerful car, driving it to a track wasn’t like the IMSA title was in any way special or anything. “The car was just driving around and there wasn’t anything anyone was doing, so what was the point?” At press time, sources confirmed that the newly acquired car was driving around the track like nothing was wrong.

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Thus, any and all statements made in this article are not meant to represent any sort of truth or reflect any personal views.

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