Report: Dad Only Has 3 Years Left In Office


By Benito McRobotface

SACRAMENTO, CA—Saying that he’s only able to leave his office for 3 years, local father Robert Lang, 48, told reporters Monday that he has only three years to go. “I’ve got about three more years on my hands before I can go home to see my family,” said Lang, adding that he had already begun to plan for a career in the sciences, which he said he was already pretty good at. “I’m not saying I’m going to be a doctor, but I’m definitely going to be a successful inventor or have a successful business career. You know, I’m even considering a career in law enforcement—that’s where I got my first taste of success.” At press time, Lang confirmed that he was planning to leave his two years on Earth and return to the living world in a few weeks.

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Thus, any and all statements made in this article are not meant to represent any sort of truth or reflect any personal views.

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