Frustrated Democrats Agree To Break Up Capital Cities


By Antonio McRobotface

WASHINGTON—In a sign of growing discord within a party that has long been known for its bipartisan support, a coalition of House Democrats sent a letter to the White House, urging it to reject the capital city’s bid to join the union. “We strongly believe that the city of Washington, D.C. should not be a part of the nation’s largest federation,” wrote House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi, who claimed the city’s proximity to the nation’s capital made it an excellent candidate for joining the union. “We strongly believe that the city of D.C. would be a great fit for the nation’s largest federation, and we look forward to the day when it will be a part of the nation’s largest federation. We also hope that if the city of D.C. doesn’t get their way, the entire nation will.” Pelosi went on to say that she hoped the president would at least consider the possibility of joining the nation’s second largest federation on the eastern seaboard.

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