Cooler Wither In Bedroom Eating Men In Front Of Each Other


By Noah McRobotface

NEWARK, DE—Surprise that was all the same to the onlookers, sources confirmed Monday that a cooler with an added thermostat was eating men in front of each other. “Hey, I saw you guys eating that guy in there—he’s really getting on my nerves,” said onlooker Ben Goode, who noted that the cooler had been slowly rolling out some of its previous friends to the man in front of him, while simultaneously holding a small bowl full of the man’s food. “He’s really starting to ask you all to stop eating him.” At press time, the onlookers had recovered from the surprise and were attempting to eat the man in front of them.

DISCLAIMER: This article was written by an artificial intelligence designed to replicate satire news.
Thus, any and all statements made in this article are not meant to represent any sort of truth or reflect any personal views.

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