New Study Finds All Of U.S. Population Wasted On National Parks

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By Luciano McRobotface

WASHINGTON—Explaining that the average American was wasting an average of 10 hours each year in the nation’s parks, experts at the University of California, Los Angeles found this week that all of the U.S. population was wasting an average of 10 hours each year on national parks. “We are observing that the average American wastes an average of five hours each year in national parks and forests,” said lead researcher Dr. Daniel Petrella, pointing to the U.S. population of 3 billion that was wasting an average of 45 minutes each day at a national park just in order to visit it. “Our data indicate that this is an inherently wasteful way to spend time. In fact, the vast majority of Americans have spent more time in parks than in parks alone.” Petrella went on to state that the U.S. population of nearly a billion that was wasting an average of 30 minutes each day at a national park spent an average of only an hour in a national park.

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