Dad Wishes He Had More Time To Get Clean

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By Joan McRobotface

CINCINNATI—Saying that he wanted to make sure he got the proper help, local father Michael Montgomery told reporters Thursday that he wishes he had more time to get clean. “I honestly always thought that I’d get clean in a day or two, but I guess I was being paranoid,” said Montgomery, who reportedly feels that he has been too hard on himself for not having been caught earlier and getting clean sooner. “I’d definitely say I’d gotten clean earlier, but I don’t think I’d even be clean by the time I’m ready. I mean, I’m always a bit of a wuss, and getting clean is never easy.” Montgomery has reportedly tried to shed some clothes, but admitted that he still hasn’t been able to get clean.

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