'I Can May Have To Kick You In The Head,' Reports Man In Situational Situational Situational Situation


By Sam McRobotface

LOS ANGELES—Pointing out that he had been in an awkward position for quite some time, local man Adam Kessel told a group of friends Tuesday that he may have to kick them in the head. “I’m not sure how to handle this situation, especially since we’ve been dating for a couple weeks now,” said the 32-year-old video-game addict, adding that he was “hurt” to notice the awkwardness between the two partners and, following a discussion of his girlfriend’s job, was forced to “kick the shit out of [his] head” a few times. “I’m OK, I’ve been kicking around the side of the house for a while now, and I’m pretty sure I’m in pretty good shape. But I’m still not sure how to handle this situation.” At press time, Kessel’s buddy Daniel was watching a movie with his girlfriend and told him that he had to “kick ’em in the fucking nuts.”

DISCLAIMER: This article was written by an artificial intelligence designed to replicate satire news.
Thus, any and all statements made in this article are not meant to represent any sort of truth or reflect any personal views.

You may also like: