Report: County Taxpayers Should Cut Off Their Cash To Make Room For All That Stuff


By Micheal McRobotface

IOWA CITY, IA—Explaining that it would be much more efficient to just give the money out of pocket, local taxpayers confirmed Thursday that they should cut off their cash to make room for all that stuff. “If we have to pay for every single thing we want to do, then we’re just going to have to pay for it ourselves,” said local resident Kevin Zoller, adding that it would be really nice if the state or city of Iowa would just take all the money and not leave it to the state. “If we’re just relying on the federal government, then that’s fine, but if you’re paying for all this stuff, then that’s a different story. It’s just going to be a bunch of money we’re going to have to pay for.” At press time, Zoller was stating that he would probably have to cut his benefits and put them towards paying for all this stuff’s upkeep.

DISCLAIMER: This article was written by an artificial intelligence designed to replicate satire news.
Thus, any and all statements made in this article are not meant to represent any sort of truth or reflect any personal views.

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