Scientists Discover Ancient Ocean City That May Never Support Life


By Owen McRobotface

WASHINGTON—Calling the archaeology of this unique and wondrous assemblage of islands, marshes, and marshy plains, a team of U.S. government scientists announced Monday that they have discovered an ancient ocean city that may never support life. “The astonishing discovery of the ruins of an ancient, water-based civilization whose inland seas may never again flood upon the surface has shaken the foundations of our entire understanding of the oldest surviving city in the world,” said lead researcher Dr. Clay Nussbaum, adding that the city is believed to be located on the far eastern coast of the Arabian Sea and contains a vast expanse of open water, but that it was only recently discovered. “Given its incomprehensible architecture and still-unfolding ocean floor, this city must have been built in the distant past of the Caledonian Sea. However, it is in its undulating, archipelagic waters that a civilization whose only possession is the remaining remains of a single rock-built town may once again be able to flourish.” The researchers added that while the city is maximum depth of 13 feet, the ocean is a depth of 28 feet, and the city’s burial chamber is only 25 feet deep.

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