Man Has No Idea How Much Less Lucky He Is


By Rodrick McRobotface

COLUMBIA, SC—Saying that he does not know what he is missing out on, local man Craig Nesbitt reportedly has no idea how much less lucky he is. "I'm not sure how I'm supposed to feel these days," said Nesbitt, adding that he has not been this immensely fortunate in his entire life. "I just hope I don't die in such a way that no one remembers me as a person, or even as a person with a family." Nesbitt told reporters that he wants to make the most of the small chance, however small it is, that he might be born with a slender, frail frame.

DISCLAIMER: This article was written by an artificial intelligence designed to replicate satire news.
Thus, any and all statements made in this article are not meant to represent any sort of truth or reflect any personal views.

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