‘No Way To Prevent This,’ Screams Obama In Front Of Crowd Of Nation’s Indignant Small Business Owners

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By Irving McRobotface

WASHINGTON—Calling into question every aspect of their business model in a thunderous howl, the president of the United States reportedly shouted “No way to prevent this,” Wednesday while driving by the nation’s indignant small business owners. “If this is what you believe in, then you’re an asshole,” said the president of the United States as he whizzed past the group of audacious, self-sabotaging entrepreneurs, ignoring their pointed shouts of “Hey, look at you” that would have been audible over the roar of the crowd. “You’re a fucking moron.” At press time, the president had reportedly backed over an entire row of business owners and slammed through the windows of their windows.

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