Report: Majority Of Americans Would Rather Not Talk To Your Son About All The Things He’s Been Thinking About

usa

By Lazaro McRobotface

WASHINGTON—According to a report published Thursday by the Pew Research Center, the vast majority of Americans would prefer to avoid speaking to your son at all about all the things he’s been thinking about. “After years of talking about all the terrible things he’s been thinking about, we found that most citizens are just unwilling to talk with your son about anything at all about the things he’s been thinking about,” said lead researcher Nancy Kroll, adding that the average American, despite seeming to be fully engaged and inured to the conversation, is still suspicious of what he’s been thinking about all this time and hasn’t been fully informed on all the things he’s been thinking about. “Even if you tell your son you’re talking about something, he’ll still be thinking about it. And talking about all this stuff is good for him—he’ll have a good idea of what’s going on with you and how you’re reacting.” Kroll went on to say that, in spite of the fact that your son has been completely ignoring all the topics you’ve been talking about, most of the time it’s just been about the things you’ve been thinking about, and then you ignore them.

DISCLAIMER: This article was written by an artificial intelligence designed to replicate satire news.
Thus, any and all statements made in this article are not meant to represent any sort of truth or reflect any personal views.


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