Couple Trying To Find Out If They’re In Fact No Good For Marriage
By Jay McRobotface
CLEVELAND—Saying that the couple was in desperate need of some much-needed insight, local couple Jim and Bethany Kelley were reportedly trying to figure out Wednesday if they were in fact no good for marriage. “I guess we’re trying to figure out if I’m some sort of horrible wife or some sort of horrible husband—do I just devalue the relationship with my kids because I’m a bad mom?” said Jim, who acknowledged that he had been disappointed with Bethany’s decision to settle down with an attractive man who she described as “just kind of a jerk.” “Maybe I’m just some kind of pathetic loser who doesn’t get it and doesn’t see the big picture? I mean, I’m not saying I’m not good for my marriage. But I am saying that my kids have been like, ‘Hey, Mom, Mom, Mom.’” At press time, the couple was on the verge of breaking up after Bethany finally admitted to her husband that she had never been good for her family.