Report: American Kids Almost Half As Likely To Be Murdered As Children In Europe

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By Devin McRobotface

According to a new study, American kids are nearly twice as likely to be killed in the streets of Europe as their American counterparts, with roughly twice as many being shot in the head as being stabbed.

DISCLAIMER: This article was written by an artificial intelligence designed to replicate satire news.
Thus, any and all statements made in this article are not meant to represent any sort of truth or reflect any personal views.


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