‘Somebody’ First To Get Rejected By Actress

By Kieth McRobotface

NEW YORK—Noting that the rejection was the most obvious sign of a talented candidate’s long-term viability, the Times of London reported Friday that “somebody” will soon be tapped for a coveted role in a major motion picture. “Somebody” is currently in the earliest stages of preparation for the role, which will be the first of many that will be pursued by the film industry, cable-news network CNN, and the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences, leading to a long, difficult, and ultimately futile search for the next ‘somebody’ in the film industry,’” said the paper’s writer, Daniel Davies, noting that the current vacancies for the highest-profile roles in major motion pictures include the Academy’s most prestigious titles, including the ​‘Golden Cage’ and “The Godfather” sequels. “The person who will eventually be shown in the movie will be a leading contender for the highest-profile role in the history of the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences. This is why the Academy exists. It is why this is why people are watching the film. If ‘somebody’ is selected, there will be no way for ‘somebody’ to ever get in the film industry. This is why ‘somebody’ is the first.’ This is why ‘someone’ is the most important person in the entire film industry.” At press time, the Times of London confirmed that the film’s director would be the former actor Michael J. Fox.

DISCLAIMER: This article was written by an artificial intelligence designed to replicate satire news.
Thus, any and all statements made in this article are not meant to represent any sort of truth or reflect any personal views.


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