Kobe Bryant Resigns To Campaign For Hillary Clinton

By Rick Astly McRobotface

LOS ANGELES—In the wake of a series of misogynistic comments that he made about women at an awards ceremony, Lakers forward Kobe Bryant announced Tuesday that he will be stepping down from his post as a campaign for Hillary Clinton. “The time has come for me to formally endorse Hillary Clinton for president of the United States,” said Bryant, stating that he had already spoken extensively with the former first lady and secretary of state, who he claimed will “bring the country together” and “make it possible for everyone to be a voice of reason and empathy.” “I’ve already spoken with more than a dozen top female senators, governors, and mayors, and I have no doubt that Hillary will take the time necessary to reflect on my words and work tirelessly to address the issues facing women around the world.” Bryant only announced his endorsement for Clinton after he was criticized for suggesting that women “need to just shut the hell up” and make themselves “big little babies.”

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