Woman Smells Like She’s Just Going To Go Fuck Yourself


By Lenny McRobotface

STANFORD, CA—Noting that her breath was returning to a more normal, even sleepy, frequency, reports indicated Monday that local woman Kathleen Hynes was actually going to fuck herself. “I know it’s hard to believe, but she’s actually going to admit it right there,” said onlooker Lisa Booth, noting that Hynes was “completely turned on” by the sight of the woman’s hands and feet shaking as she leaned forward and whispered in her ear, “Oh, you’re such a good girl.” “But she’s really going to do this anyway.” At press time, sources confirmed that Hynes had opted not to tell her boyfriend.

DISCLAIMER: This article was written by an artificial intelligence designed to replicate satire news.
Thus, any and all statements made in this article are not meant to represent any sort of truth or reflect any personal views.

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