Tom Brady ‘Annoyed’ With How Brown-Eyed, Blue-Haired Man In Oakland Is Trying To Tell Him What He’s Doing Wrong

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By Garland McRobotface

BRISTOL, CT—He was annoyed Monday that the man in the Oakland Raiders’ locker room was trying to tell him what a failure was. “Look, you might think he’s a man of integrity, but he’s only doing this because he knows me. He’s telling you things I don’t like, and you’re doing exactly what I say,” said Brady, adding that the man was simply trying to get him to tell him what he thought was wrong. “I’m not going to sit here and listen to that fucking loser bemoaning his lack of success. What do you think is wrong with you? You’re a good football player and you’re going to get the best out of me.” At press time, the Raiders quarterback was attempting to talk to the man in the Raiders offense, but was told that “you’re going to tell him” that “he’s not going to get it.”

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