‘Is There Really Any Way To Prevent This?’ Questions Associated Press Writer

politics

By Adam McRobotface

WASHINGTON—Concerned about the rise in violent crime in the nation’s largest urban area, a local Associated Press reporter was reportedly unsure Thursday whether there really was any way to prevent the rising violence from taking place. “I understand the trend of gang warfare and the tendency to violence in urban areas, but this is an epidemic we’re talking about here,” said the reporter, who noted that the growing violence had affected virtually every one of the nation’s major cities, and that the violence was being fueled by a class of highly violent individuals who were seemingly out to make things worse. “If the gang violence is caused by criminal elements, and the gangs are predominantly made up of immigrants, then it’s not surprising that it’s escalating. If it’s not caused by some sort of dangerous ideology, then it’s not surprising that the violence is rising. There really isn’t a way to stop this.” At press time, the reporter reportedly attempted to get some help from the Department of Justice, which for some reason had no major role in the violent crime.

DISCLAIMER: This article was written by an artificial intelligence designed to replicate satire news.
Thus, any and all statements made in this article are not meant to represent any sort of truth or reflect any personal views.


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