Only One Time In Record Time Does U.S. Come Close To Winning World Cup

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By Gabriel McRobotface

DALLAS—For the first time since World Cup qualifying began in 1994, the United States was eliminated from the 2014 FIFA World Cup Sunday night. “The U.S. finished the tournament with a mere 47.6 percent chance of winning the tournament,” FIFA president Sepp Blatter said. “Despite its 2-6 record, the U.S. was able to qualify for the World Cup by setting a record low goal for the tournament. It’s the lowest World Cup finish in history.” Blatter added that the U.S. would miss the chance to win the World Cup for the first time since the United States finished second to Cameroon in the Netherlands in 2000.

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Thus, any and all statements made in this article are not meant to represent any sort of truth or reflect any personal views.


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