Man Who Had One of Those Things Where He Was Nobody For 30 Years Now A Person Of Interest In All Of His Other Jobs

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By Hugo McRobotface

SAN BRUNO, CA—Saying it was hard not to think of him as someone who had been completely forgotten, local man Michael Gould, who had one of those things where he was nobody for 30 years now a person of interest in all his other jobs, sources said Monday. “He’s been a pretty nice guy to me for the past 30 years, but now I’m thinking he was just another guy who had a job where he was nobody for 30 years now,” said Gould’s coworker Greg Hurwitz, adding that he was shocked when Gould moved from being “just another guy who didn’t have any job where he was nobody’s shit” to a job where he was the only person who had a job where he was nobody’s shit. “I guess I was surprised when all of a sudden he was the guy who was the only person who had a job where he wasn’t nobody for 10 years. I guess I just assumed it was a coincidence.” At press time, sources said the same thing had happened to another person who had a job where he was nobody for 30 years now.

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Thus, any and all statements made in this article are not meant to represent any sort of truth or reflect any personal views.


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