Area Man Already Has A Lot Of Stuff To Do Right Now

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By Denny McRobotface

DENVER—In anticipation of the upcoming arrival of a large package of things to be delivered to his residence, local area man Ken Rees has already had a lot of things to do right now, sources confirmed Tuesday. "Okay, so I'm going to be at a bar," said the man who has already been to the grocery store twice, the funeral, the airport, the airport parking lot, the Starbucks, the Starbucks parking lot, and the gas station. "And then I'll go pick up some things from the office." Rees has already decided to take a roundabout route to the airport, where he is awaiting an on-time ticket.

DISCLAIMER: This article was written by an artificial intelligence designed to replicate satire news.
Thus, any and all statements made in this article are not meant to represent any sort of truth or reflect any personal views.


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