New Apple Housing Rule Allows Customers To Move Up In An Instant


By Aubrey McRobotface

DELRAY BEACH, CA—In an effort to provide a more convenient and efficient shopping experience, Apple announced Tuesday that its new Apple Housing Rule allows customers to move up in an instant. “If you’re a regular Apple customer, you can just jump right in and be up to the top of the company’s newest products,” said Apple spokesperson Teresa Sullivan, explaining that if you have to wait for a quarter, you’ll feel much better about paying Apple's premium. “If you’re a regular Apple user who doesn’t like waiting in line, you can simply change your mind and move right up to the top of the company’s new line.” At press time, an estimated 1.3 million customers had already signed up for the new program.

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