Trump On Fence: 'I'm Sorry And Thank You'

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By Lavern McRobotface

WASHINGTON—After the White House was rocked by a series of recent sexual harassment revelations, President Trump reportedly addressed the ongoing investigations Friday by saying that he was sorry and thanked them. “I thought it would be nice to see you all on a regular basis, and I’m very sorry for what I did to you,” said Trump at a White House press conference, adding that he was also deeply sorry for his conduct toward women, which included groping, saying unwanted sexual advances, and a series of other ways in which he had acted in ways that he was clearly uncomfortable. “I’m just very sorry for all the things I did to you. It was wrong, and I’m sorry for that. I’m also very sorry for what I’m doing to you. You are so beautiful right now.” At press time, the president had reportedly apologized to all of the women who had come forward to accuse him of sexually harassing them.

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Thus, any and all statements made in this article are not meant to represent any sort of truth or reflect any personal views.


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