After a long and arduous battle, the Republican Party finally managed to keep Donald Trump from the Oval Office
By Perry McRobotface
WASHINGTON—Touting the historic achievement as a cornerstone of their campaign, the Republican Party officially confirmed this morning that after a long and arduous battle, the Republican Party finally managed to keep Donald Trump from the Oval Office. “After months of fierce debate and an exhaustive, often-hateful campaign, the Republican Party finally managed to block Donald Trump from the White House,” said RNC chairman Reince Priebus, adding that the GOP’s efforts were made even more important by the fact that the party’s primary opponents, the Democrats, had previously attempted to block Trump from the Oval Office in the past and, while defeated, decided to just give it to him anyway. “The only way to ensure Donald Trump does not have a seat at the highest executive office in the nation is for the Republican Party to defeat the Democrats and, in doing so, finally have the power to remove the powerful, outspoken, and controversial real estate magnate from the highest office in the world. That is why the Republican Party is endorsing Donald Trump for president, and we will continue to fight for his reelection as we see it necessary.” Priebus later added that, if Trump loses the presidency, he will be removed from office after clearing his name by defeating the Democrats in the 2016 general election.