Chris Rock Confirms He Will be Remaking His 1997 Chuck Palahniuk Opera

By Pierre McRobotface

LOS ANGELES—He has announced plans for a new, critically acclaimed operatic opera in the near future, and many fans have been speculating about the new musical direction for the ensuing months, sources confirmed Thursday. “I’m excited to announce that, after spending more than a decade honing my craft in composition, I’ll be revising my 1997 Chuck Palahniuk opera The Triumph Of The Will and adapting it for the big screen as Anthem,” said the 36-year-old comedian, who has not yet revealed the project’s exact title, but has said it will be a “big, grand, epic ballet” that will be performed on the UCLA campus, similar to his popular “Kiss Kiss Bang Bang Bang” performance from the “80s.” “I’ve spent thousands of hours honing my craft in the operatic style, and while I’m not ready to put my stamp on the groundbreaking work just yet, I’ll be performing my original interpretation of the piece alongside the original. I’m confident that this is the most monumental opera the theater community has ever seen, and I’m looking forward to sharing it with my legions of fans.” Rock added that he would also be working on a new “big, big, big” musical version of his famous “T. Rex” character, which he described as “kind of a big deal” in light of his recent release of a song parody of “The Godfather” and a remix of “The Terminator.”

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