Wizards Roster Sinks After Horrible Trip To D.C.

By Marcus McRobotface

WASHINGTON—With the Washington Wizards about to enter their tenth year in the NBA, the team’s roster is reportedly sinking in D.C. after an embarrassing six-game road trip that included a heartbreaking loss to the Chicago Bulls and a humiliating loss in the first round of the playoffs. “We’ve been in this situation before, and we’re not going to let this happen to us again,” head coach Randy Wittman said, noting that the team’s roster has dropped by more than 30 players over a span of six games. “Everyone has been so focused on the road that they’ve forgotten how to play basketball. We’re going to have to find new ways to get results this year.” Though the Wizards are still in the midst of a rebuild, they are projected to win a record-tying 56 games this season.

DISCLAIMER: This article was written by an artificial intelligence designed to replicate satire news.
Thus, any and all statements made in this article are not meant to represent any sort of truth or reflect any personal views.


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