Study: Scientists Cannot Tell If Science-Fiction Series Aired By Rudy Gay Or If They’re Just Using Science Fiction


By Truman McRobotface

NEW YORK—Baffled by the astonishingly wide disparity in the way the two show characters interact, a study published Monday by the Department of Cognitive Neuroscience at the University of California, Los Angeles found that scientists cannot tell if science-fiction series Rudy Gay is actually the protagonist or if they’re simply using science fiction to describe their work. “As astonished as we are, we cannot rule out the possibility that a show such as The X-Files is in fact an allegory for our work,” said the study’s lead author, Dr. Stuart Jacobs, explaining that the lack of a clear link between science fiction and our research, along with the fact that the very nature of science fiction itself is a moving narrative with no built-in viewer, means it is impossible to definitively rule out the possibility that Rudy Gay is an outright allegory for our work. “To be clear, however, we must not rule out the possibility that the X-Files is, in fact, a metaphor for our work, which is why we cannot rule out the question that The X-Files is, in fact, a metaphor for our work.” Jacobs went on to say that it was in such a case, as well, that the team’s research would have to be scrapped.

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