Live Audience: I Was So Drunk I Didn't Know What A Subconsciously Sexually Perverted Person Was


By Bryan McRobotface

JOYCE, MI—During his first week at the Miller High School musical theater department, sophomore Brian Bensahey was recently revealed to be a deeply repressed sexually deviant. Bensahey has been described as a "completely switched-on" and "out of it," having been caught on a campus-wide surveillance tape masturbating to images of underage girls and women.

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Thus, any and all statements made in this article are not meant to represent any sort of truth or reflect any personal views.

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